I know they say you shouldn’t care of what people think of you, but I can’t help it. I’m tired of being judged. I hate being perceived as a brat, as a person of high maintenance, someone who gets whatever she wants, someone who doesn’t even have to try to get through things, a servant of God who doesn’t worship or have much faith even, someone who is incapable of standing on her own two feet, someone who doesn’t know what it feels to have your life crumbling into pieces. 

I am just as human as you are. I look like I’m having a great deal of fun with life and as if I don’t have priorities but that’s the last thing that I could possibly be right now. This is going to be an annoying post but I have to let this out my chest.

I look like a lot of things that I’m not, and the things that I like don’t define me as a person too. I’m not much different than the average Jane.

I get broke sometimes and my parents don’t always stuff my pockets with money as if they grow on trees. I get into arguments with them, and I don’t win them, just like any of the people I know.

I work hard on my studies and I have a lot of people telling me that I don’t have to be so pressured because even if I screw up, I could get Daddy to pay for my mistakes. That’s the biggest and most painful bullshit anyone has ever said to me. My parents don’t make millions, mind you. My parents make me earn what I deserve by proving to them my worth.

I am not high maintenance, and even if I am, I wouldn’t want a single penny from the men I date. The price of the clothes I put on doesn’t define me as a person. I like earning whatever I put on me, every top has a short story to tell. I’m not the most faithful servant of God, and I’m not anywhere close but I try hard to be and it’s not easy at all. I haven’t the same opportunities than most of you when it comes to being close to God.. I know that doesn’t sound very right but I have my reasons in saying that, and well I’d only tell if someone asks, they’re a bit too personal.

If you think I don’t deserve any bit of what I have now, & I just got lucky in life, you are wrong. You have no idea what I put myself through to get where I am right now, and the best part is, I don’t even wanna be here & yet I went through what I had to.

And if you think I don’t have moments when I see my life crumbling into pieces, you’re wrong. I see it nearly all the time when I’m alone.

I’m not hating the people who judge, I don’t blame you because I guess that’s just how I come off as, but lessen it a bit will ya? I can never be the girl who goes up to every guy and every girl she knows and just cries her problems out. I hate feeling vulnerable and I try really hard to hide my problems and worry from people I’m not so comfortable with.

I’ve been tweeting and blogging about this, and this isn’t very me; I don’t put my self out there. I just feel bad about ranting to the same group of people I’m comfortable with -they’re tired of my complaints, no doubt.